Limerick from sitting on the remote

He brought up Ralph Fiennes, as he's christened,
Or Fiennes, or Fiennes, (it isn't?)
  Then the TV flashed blue
  And Fandango was queued.
We thought it was Schindler who listened.

Leng T’checking Account

These microtransactions right now
Are quite like that torture renowned–
   By a thousand cuts: death.
   So too wallets lose depth;
I'd call it leng t'checking account.