And there are you, across the continent, the void

And there are you, across the continent, the void
In my domain of sad renunciation: far
Away beyond my touch but closer than a thought.
A teacher sterner than self-hatred by your love;
Reality more true than matter, knowledge kept
Integral–closer even to my core than all
The lessons tragedy had scrimshawed on my bones. 
A joyous cross! An awful separation that
I wish to end immediately, yet it's shown
Me, graced me with a love my body cannot taint,
An adoration that my mind can never paint
In its diseased hues, something that my petty fears
Are powerless to reach. The obverse of my woes,
The worth within my suffering, the cause to be
Made strong by struggle, more than all of these by far. 
It's edified beyond the edifice of Earth 
My understanding of illusion: where I once
Was sickened for I knew how fake the planet is,
I now have something real–a value finally
Apart from every worldly trinket, every false
Enjoyment and duress the flesh was made to bow
To seen for what they are, the half-truths recognized,
Accepted; all the dross of sorrow stripped aside,
And though it must remain, aggrandized is the rest!
A feeling of epiphany to have this whole
Of love connecting all the misery of life,
A formula that squares the circle: everything:
The gnashing and the mutilation, the disease
And abnegation, every tear that's wrung from blood:
It all makes sense, or is at least become a sea
Of sorrow for my ship to sail upon. This love
That's more than me and more than misery has filled
The dearth of life. Invisible, untouchable,
Not unfulfillable, beyond the gravity
Of life it turns my eyes and heart toward the sky.